“WTF was that!?! What happened? (WAHH! WAHH!) Where am I? What in the hell is going on? I demand an explanation as to why I am no longer in my warm little place! Who’s that lady in the blue suit looking at me upside down? Whoa…where’s she taking me? Who’s this lady she’s setting me on? Oh wait…I think I recognize this lady. Who’s that guy next to her? Hmmm…he seems oddly familiar too…why’s he crying more than I am right now? Oh well…I guess I’ll just lay here on this lady for a while and get comfortable. Hmmm…maybe I’ll grab that guy’s finger with my hand too…that seems like a good idea. Sigh…I think I like this."
And that basically sums up my thoughts in my first few moments outside of mom. Of course, it’s a much longer story than that. Here’s my take on it:
At around 11:30p last Sunday (March 27th), I heard mom talking about some pains she was having and I felt some slight movement around my house, but neither of us were quite sure what they were (quite frankly, I thought mom just needed to fart). So mom went to bed and managed to fall asleep around midnight even though I was kicking her in her ribs. The next morning mom woke up at around 4:30 and felt some more pains that were stronger than the night before so she woke up dad. Dad took out his phone and started timing these pains on his iPhone (I’m not quite sure what that is, but I know dad loves his because I always hear mom complaining that dad is always on his – I think I want one too!) After about an hour, mom and dad decided to pack a suitcase just in case I decided to make my debut.
To be honest with you, at this point, I still hadn’t made up my mind whether to come out yet. I know that Auntie Vickie wanted me to come out early, but she hadn’t offered me a big enough bribe yet for me to take the bait. Little did I know, I should have taken the deal, because apparently mom’s body made the decision for both of us: at around 5:30 in the morning on March 28th, while mom was packing the suitcase, her water broke and my house became much smaller in a hurry! From this point on, it’s all a blur to me – there was a fast car ride up to San Francisco (yeah, that’s right, I was BORN in San Francisco – pretty cool, eh?), lots and lots of doctors poking and prodding at me from all directions and all trying to figure out when I was going to come, and a whole bunch of waiting.
As the day progressed, the pressure around me increased more and more and started to happen more frequently. I think mom was in quite a bit of pain because I was coming pretty quickly for a first baby (from what I heard). At around 2, mom stopped swearing so much and started laughing and having fun. I’m not sure what she was doing out there, but I’m pretty sure that there were drugs involved because I definitely wasn’t having as much fun as she was – I could barely move and my head was stuck in between a rock and a hard place.
At around 5:30, I heard the doctors tell mom that she was going to start pushing. Daddy kept telling mom she was doing great because mom just seemed to know what to do. About an hour into the pushing, daddy accidentally spilled a giant cup of ice water all over mommy’s leg – it was pretty funny and I laughed at my clumsy daddy (mom didn’t seem to mind either, but dad felt like quite the klutz). The last 30 minutes of pushing seemed to go by in five – I kept wiggling my head trying to help mom out, but it was really her doing all the work.
At 7:06pm on Monday, March 28, 2011, I entered this world weighing in at 7lbs even and measuring 19.5 inches. After getting over the initial shock, I settled in with mommy and daddy pretty quickly. We spent the next hour or so together and with the nurse before we let everyone into the room (I’ll talk about this more in a later post). Overall, I think it was a pretty good experience for everyone (especially after mommy got her drugs). I still miss the womb every now and then, but it’s definitely more fun being able to torture mommy AND daddy at the same time – torturing mommy was just getting to be too easy!
